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Published on December 9th, 2014 | by Nancy F. Clark


Do You Need To Improve Your Allowing-Controlling Ratio?

By Janice Drescher—

Your passion for your business vision is the magnet that will inspire others who connect with your vision to join you. Without that passion, the signal you send to others isn’t strong enough to bring others to you who match your passion and are inspired to help you fulfill your business vision. Creating a team of employees that is aligned with your passion and vision sets the stage for business success and opens the door to the world of allowing vs. controlling.

Your role as a leader

As the leader of your business, your role is to provide the unwavering clarity and inspiration that is infectious to others who share your vision. Your leadership is the heartbeat of your business. With that foundation in place, you have the opportunity to invite creative input from your team and appreciate the collaboration that results when the vision is clear and the players are aligned with that vision.

How does this happen? This is where the allowing comes in. Allowing ideas has the potential to create a result that is greater than the sum of its parts. Appreciation is a key aspect of cultivating an environment of allowing because it opens the space to acknowledge and embrace others’ ideas. Allowing input from your team encourages them to become engaged in a way that creates value for them as well as for your business. Allowing requires trust in your team and the certainty within yourself that your leadership will keep things on track. Letting go of controlling the direction of your business sets the stage for allowing your vision to unfold in ways that may surprise you.

How do you establish this type of leadership?

It starts with understanding that you can’t control anyone else. The only thing you can influence is your own experience. We have the ability to cultivate more of what we want when we focus our attention there and get very specific about what that means to us. By increasing our presence and awareness, we expand our capacity to tap into our deepest intentions. When we are aligned with our truest intentions, we lay the ground for allowing ideas that match those intentions.

Allowing ideas that match what we want is a departure from the more typical approach of “efforting” to “make” something happen. Inviting ideas that match your intentions has a whole different feel to it. Allowing has relaxation in it. Too often, we don’t slow down enough to allow our ideas to take shape. We’re an action oriented, fast paced society. Slowing down and allowing the space for those ideas to emerge is the often missed opportunity. As we practice more presence and awareness, our ability to tap into our core intentions deepens and we gain access to an abundance of ideas and opportunities that can take us where we want to go. These ideas may come from your own thoughts or thoughts of others, an article, a flyer, radio show, a conversation with someone. Your own clarity about what you want gives you the focus to notice these opportunities which may otherwise go unnoticed.

Why is this so important? Because

 Imagine a company full of employees who are invited to bring their best to the workplace every day , who are fully engaged in the fulfillment of the company’s vision, who feel valued, trusted and appreciated. This is the magic of allowing.

Janice Drescher, Owner, Intentional Leaders Business Coaching & Consulting www.intentionalleaders.com. See her Top Coach page.

Nancy Clark is CEO of PositivityDaily, Director of Forbes WomensMedia, and author of The Positive Journal. She coaches companies and executives in business skills with the added benefit of training in positive psychology and happiness -- incorporating the latest scientific studies on changing brain patterns and habits. Clark believes that positivity is the next necessary step to engage employees.

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About the Author

Nancy Clark is CEO of PositivityDaily, Director of Forbes WomensMedia, and author of The Positive Journal. She coaches companies and executives in business skills with the added benefit of training in positive psychology and happiness -- incorporating the latest scientific studies on changing brain patterns and habits. Clark believes that positivity is the next necessary step to engage employees.

10 Responses to Do You Need To Improve Your Allowing-Controlling Ratio?

  1. sleaden@leaden.com' Steve Leaden says:

    Thank you for a great post Janice. Our consulting team has recently been practicing the art of ‘allowing’ during team calls. We work virtually so meeting on a conference call is typically less engaging than live and in person, and that can be a challenge keeping all engaged. Our last few team calls have been ‘war room’ style, inviting and allowing individuals on the team to contribute on a particular topic or challenge and has kept them all engaged. I have definitely experienced better ideas and better outcomes from the meeting than what I went in with before it (my ideas only), and the result has been better outcomes to an issue and better team-oriented solutions. With all having the ability to contribute, our level of communication internally and with our clients has also increased. And all of this in the end, I feel, makes us a better team and a better company serving our clients. Your post is right on point with what we are experiencing. Thanks again.

    • Hi Steve,
      Glad to hear of your success with inviting input from your team. Employees certainly are a rich source of ideas and many business owners underestimate the value their employees have to offer based on their experience serving the internal and external customers of the business. Wishing you continued success!

  2. Lldavison@sbcglobal.net' Lynn Davison says:

    Thanks, Janice, for the perspective on the importance of a vision to inspire and compel others to join in and the need to allow others to contribute to how the vision will be realized. Can you offer some guidelines on different ways to make sure everyone is on the same page as this unfolds? Thanks!

    • Hi Lynn,
      Having systems and standards in place lays the ground for this kind of input because it establishes an initial baseline for how things will be done that can be tracked and measured. It also helps to establish and maintain healthy work relationships between the manager and their reporting employees to identify what’s working well and issues that need to be addressed. Regular meetings of this type give the employee a chance to contribute their ideas to maximize their own performance and the company’s overall performance. In a culture of “allowing,” there are typically stated ways to offer input, including but not limited to brainstorming sessions, surveys and even suggestion boxes. Once new input is adopted, it is important to let everyone know of the new initiative or policy and how it will work. Training is a key part of rolling out a new initiative.

  3. poolinspector@pacbell.net' Chris and Karen says:

    We are small business owners and are excited to have started working with Intentional Leaders to learn how to empower our employees to participate in our business goals. It seems counterintuitive to relinquish the “control” of something that we’ve nurtured for all these years, but the thought of inviting and allowing new ideas does feels relaxing and we’re looking forward to implementing it.

    • Hi Chris & Karen,
      That relaxation can happen when your employees have clarity about their role in helping you fulfill your business vision. When employees understand how to deliver a consistently excellent customer experience that expresses the high standards of your brand, then engaging with your employees and inviting their input can be a source of an enhanced experience for everyone, employees and customers alike.

  4. julian.corwin@gmail.com' Julian says:

    Allowing in this context is such a great word to describe what needs to happen in these small business settings. Thanks for this great post Janice.

  5. info@creativeawakeningsinternational.com' Sheri Gaynor says:

    This is a great article. Letting go of control and inviting in conversation and ideas, will allow for a true co-creative process and lays the groundwork for a paradigm shift embracing a non-dominant leadership model.

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