Published on January 6th, 2016 | by Nancy F. Clark0
Give A Fresh Start To Your Personal Life
By Susan Murphy—
Life is 5 % what happens to you and 95% what you do with that.
Although life doesn’t come with a re-set button, you can give your personal life a fresh start anytime you choose. Why not declare that “This year is going to be a fresh start”? I believe that what we do every day is important because we are exchanging a day of our life for it. If you aren’t happy with the life you are living, then make a commitment today to get on track to a joyful, productive life.
How do you kick-start your personal life?
Assess your current reality. How satisfied are you with your progress in key areas of your personal life? Consider your level of satisfaction with your health, relationships, spirituality, personal development, living conditions. Applaud yourself for the areas going well and choose 2 to 3 areas where you’d like to focus this year.
Examine your most important values & your life purpose. Who are you and what do you stand for? As the late Stephen Covey said, “It’s incredibly easy to get caught up in an activity trap, in the business of life, to work harder and harder at climbing the ladder of success only to discover it’s leaning against the wrong wall.” Take time to understand yourself better. What are your hopes and dreams? Are you living a life that reflects your core beliefs?
Reflect on your past. Your rear view mirror can provide insights into your successes and your mistakes. Are there destructive patterns that have held you back? For example, do you have difficulty saying “No”? Perhaps it’s time for you to realize that when you say “Yes” to one thing, you’re actually saying “No” to something that may be more important to you. Do you struggle with your time management and are unable to prioritize your exercise routine? Do you say that your family comes first and yet work every weekend? Has clutter bogged you down so it’s difficult to get organized?
Decide what you really want. It’s easy to be persuaded to set goals that others want for you. Your spouse may want you to become a good golfer, but if you don’t want to, you will not reach that goal. Be clear on what you want and why you want it.
The why is important because if you don’t have a good reason for achieving the goal, you will easily get off-track.
Limit your goals & spread them out. Start small and easy, especially if you have not been successful in reaching your goals in the past. Consider starting with something you already do occasionally but want to do daily. Your self-confidence will grow as you reach these initial goals and this will help prepare you for achieving future goals. One client’s 2015 resolution is to develop a closer relationship with his young daughter, so his goal is to take his daughter for pancakes the first Saturday of every month. Start working on one goal in January, then calendar the start date for the next one, i.e., June 15.
Write down your goals and make them “SMART.” SMART is the acronym for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Results-oriented and Time-bound. “Cholesterol will be less than 180 by May 1.” “Family cruise will be enjoyed by November 30.” The date of completion is critical because otherwise your destination becomes “Someday Isle,” which translates into merely wishful thinking. “Someday I’ll do this” and “Someday I’ll do that.”
Post your goals in visible sites around your home. My family posts 3 sets of goals: My Goals, My Husband’s Goals, & Team Goals. We check off goals that we accomplish and save the list from year to year. This builds our confidence that we are being successful and achieving the goals we set. Annually we clarify our family’s Mission, Values and Goals which is very unifying and creates a team atmosphere.
Keep only supportive, positive people on your Personal Board of Directors. This is the time to remove toxic people from your inner circle. Consider your closest relationships and decide who should stay, who should be re-classified, and who else can be recruited to support you. When you were a kid, your parents probably told you not to hang out with the wrong crowd. As adults it’s easy to forget this, although your inner circle has a strong effect on whether you achieve your goals.
Visualize yourself achieving your goal. Visualize a detailed mental image of the outcome using all your senses. Think about how you’ll feel. When writing my doctoral dissertation, I placed post-its with “Ph.D.” in many places around my home and office to keep my focus on my goal.
Find your sense of humor! Be willing to laugh at yourself and forgive yourself so you will get back on track when you fall off-course.
Reward yourself! When you achieve your goal, celebrate by rewarding yourself with a new golf putter, a massage or a concert.
Dr. Susan Murphy is a business and organizational consultant whose background includes over 25 years of hands-on executive leadership experience. She is the author of Quantitative Approaches to Management, and co-author with Pat Heim of In The Company of Women: Turning Workplace Conflict Into Powerful Alliances. For more information please see Consult4Business.
Article photo by gigi_nyc