Goals Mary Spio

Published on April 12th, 2015 | by Nancy F. Clark

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Change By Design, Not By Default

By Mary Spio—

As a scientist, I remain in awe of the lawfulness of our universe.  It is this formulaic design that placed the earth in its exact location—a degree closer to the sun and it would melt, and a degree farther away and we would freeze.

It is the understanding of these principles that allows the placement of satellites at precise points in space and sustains their presence without catastrophic collisions. When I look at these and other laws of the universe, such as gravity, I realize that there are also laws for life. One such law is what I call the law of destiny:

Destiny happens either by design or by default.

It’s amazing that we plan every trip we take, and yet, most people never stop to think of what they want out of life:

  • What impact do you want to make?
  • What is your mission?

In the course of writing my book It’s Not Rocket Science, 7 Game Changing Traits for Uncommon Success, I found that none of the game changers I encountered succeeded by accident. Every single one of them had a mission. They didn’t know how it would turn out, but there was always a mission.  Game changer Alex Cameron put it best: “People are going to put you in a place until you decide what place you want to have in the world.”

Game changer Laurie Clark indicated that she had that burning desire to strive and do well in her career and knew when she started working in the purchasing office at Staples at 22 years old, that she wanted to be a divisional manager before she turned 30—and set milestones for herself. She achieved and exceeded them becoming the youngest woman ever to work on a senior executive team at Staples. She was also the first person the company sent to Harvard Business School.

Pinterest founder Ben Silbermann was living his life by default. His parents are doctors, and both his sisters are too, and he was also on that path. But he hadn’t stopped to think about what he truly wanted.

After changing majors and graduating from Yale with a degree in political science, Ben was working as a consultant when he became intrigued by the technology boom. It was his destiny calling. He said, “I remember I had this feeling that this was the story of my time and I was in the wrong place.”  Making a major course correction, Silbermann quit his job, moved to Silicon Valley, and fought for a job with Google. I think it’s safe to say that, like Ben, many people had dreams of making it big in the tech industry, but precious few acted with intention like he did.

Your mind is a programmable computer. What you put in it about the world is what comes out. If you are not intentional about the messages that fill your subconscious, then you’re living the messages that are deposited in your system by default. These messages, positive or negative, determine your behaviors and outcomes in life. Like a magnetic head, your brain finds the people, tools and resources needed to fulfill the commands that it receives from your software.

Install the right program and watch the magic happen. Set it in sleep mode and a funny thing happens—nothing!

You replicate what you believe you are. 

That’s why a mission or vision for your life and what you want it to be is crucial. If you believe you’re a game changer, you will act in accordance with those principles.

Set a positive vision for your life.

Creating a more positive self-image is the first step in the journey to becoming a game changer. Our environment is constantly bombarding us with negativity. Even the most confident and optimistic among us need an occasional image boost. A higher self-image feeds the brain a new, positive set of instructions to follow and act on. Here are a few tips for setting a positive vision for your life.

  • Fully accept and believe that you have the power to create anything that you can imagine.
  • Think of how you would act in a perfect world without limitations, judgments or restrictions. Who would you like to be?
  • Organize your thoughts about yourself so that the positive ones are your dominant focus. Your actions follow the strongest thoughts, so by forcing positive images to the front, you can positively influence your actions.
  • Feed your mind with the stories and inspiration of others who have gone before you and achieved similar dreams.

Take some time to write out your life’s mission and the kind of impact you want to make. What do you want to accomplish? How and why did this vision take shape?

Don’t operate by default. 

Many of us never stop to evaluate the view we hold of ourselves or how it came to be. In essence, we operate by default, based on a self-image imprinted during early childhood—a five-year-old’s definition of who we are. Even if it was accurate back then, it’s surely not a correct picture now.

Being a game changer starts with the decision to live your hopes by design rather than living your fears by default. There are no accidental game changers—every game changer went on a journey to pursue a dream, opening the aperture of possibility and following their own chosen path. In order to achieve game-changing success and fulfillment, you’ll need to do the same. The choice is up to you.

 

Mary Spio is President and Founder of Next Galaxy Corp – a virtual reality content hub and maker of the first VR Audio Headphone and Controller (Ceekars). She is the author of It’s Not Rocket Science, 7 Game Changing Traits for Uncommon Success. You can follow her on Twitter @MarySpio.

Nancy Clark is CEO of PositivityDaily and Director of Forbes WomensMedia. She coaches companies and executives in business skills with the added benefit of training in positive psychology and happiness -- incorporating the latest scientific studies on changing brain patterns and habits. Clark believes that positivity is the next necessary step to engage employees.


About the Author

Nancy Clark is CEO of PositivityDaily and Director of Forbes WomensMedia. She coaches companies and executives in business skills with the added benefit of training in positive psychology and happiness -- incorporating the latest scientific studies on changing brain patterns and habits. Clark believes that positivity is the next necessary step to engage employees.



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